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She waits another week to fall apart...

[ website | mal's words ]
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fuckin blast from the past, eh? [14 Jul 2005|04:52pm]
hey kids.
just keeping this account active because of my packrat tendencies.

also becuase someone tried to get my pass word, so I'm just posting for who(m)ever did that to fuck off.



awesome
love YOU guys
but not fuckwits.
xxxxxxx
7 of y'all| let me know you're out there

final entry [05 Jan 2005|11:50pm]
She kisses everyone goodbye
And waves her middle finger high
They're never gonna mess with her again
The drama queen is seventeen
And sleeping with boys who dream
She's got a reputation of being easy

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She thinks about herself and cares about nobody else
because the only friends she has all put her down
They hate her when she's beautiful and even more when she's a fool
They talk behind her back when it's her birthday

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She's saying goodbye, she's wasted all her loney tear drops
Saying goodbye, she's used up all her lonely tear drops now

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away from here
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She's wasted all her lonely tear drops now
2 of y'all| let me know you're out there

because it has to be said [05 Jan 2005|10:40pm]
I'd rather been seen as a slut than have a long term relationship with someone who hurts me




work was bearable due to johnnie being cool and not sucking like a cheetah with reverse diarhea.
*props to johnnie*



and i got more psychotic snowmen
2 of y'all| let me know you're out there

i am tired (i know) [05 Jan 2005|11:32am]
e.e.cummings



You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.


Come with me, then,
And we'll leave it far and far away--
(Only you and I, understand!)


You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and--
Just tired.
So am I.


But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And I knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart--
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.


Ah, come with me!
I'llblow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I'll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probably stars;
I will attempt the unstartles steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.
3 of y'all| let me know you're out there

*seething* [05 Jan 2005|12:16am]
[ mood | betrayed and pissed ]

That's right betrayed


and I dont appear to be getting over it anytime soon





adamacoustic
You're "You Know How I Do", you're always
tired, upset or lying and you won't take
anyone's crap.


Which taking back sunday song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnifacent liars.
So crush me baby, I'm all ears.
So obviously desperate, so desperatly obvious.
I'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about "cleaning up my act..."

We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
Willing and ready to prove the worst of everything you said about.
So obviously desperate, so desperatly obvious.
So good at setting bad examples.
Listen, chic, I've had all I can handle.

We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

Think of all the fun you had.
The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time.
Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and......"I can barely smile"

Think of all the fun you had.
The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time.
Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and......"I can barely smile"

Let's go...
He's smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on and on and on.
He's smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on and on and on.

1 of y'all| let me know you're out there

you bastard [04 Jan 2005|11:44pm]
[ mood | oh pick a fucking emotion ]

I hate this
i let you in, accidentally.
and now I have to deal.
and you hold the cards now and i'm just waiting.
I respected you and thought you fantastic and we have discussions and discourse and it was phenominal.
and you gave me respect and I think understood a part of me that I dont
or you just let me go and appriciated me because of/inspite of it.

and i miss that
and you.


write to me.
oh for peace ofmind write to me



i want to have people to talk wth aboutme.
people who understand and care
and i dont have that.


i wish i'd hugged kate more

i wish i hadn't thought i'd have her till i was married.
and i did.
i thought she'd be at my wedding in her blue dress and peach lipstick.
and i long for someone to be my new source of unconditional love
and i try to bbe who and what I am, and I know i'm intense, but you have to lov eme either inspite or beacuse of.
I need to throw up


i feel like there's so much more to feel and I'm not allowing myself, or something isn't allowing me.
i'm not at flow.
i dont understand
i just dont fucking understand.
or i dont carE?

fuck it, i'm not going to mcc tomorrw i'm going thursday

and it's crap i keep blowing off kara and i hope she bitchslaps me for it.


i need something lifechanging and wholy effective to happen to me
something i hate
but isn't permanent.


i hate liars.
and i'm pretty sure everyone who reads this has lied to me at least once

i hate my standards.
i ...want to go to bed and die.

8 of y'all| let me know you're out there

PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION [04 Jan 2005|12:05am]
[ mood | fuckin tired ]

I'm organizing something and you want to come
YES YOU DO


this is your notice for the


"Why The Fuck Haven't You Seen The Incredibles Yet?"
Party/Outing.

Friday.
time to be determined (matinee, because paying $8 for a movie is OUTRAGEOUS!)


If you have already seen this movie, you are still welcome to revel in the greatness that IS The Incredibles


it's a joint for us all.
and i think there's a meet up at jays afterward.
wahtev.

more details to follow.
rock.
etc.

bring whoever you'd like.



...and suddenly i remember i already have plans.
fuck.

IT WILL WORK OUT!!
6 of y'all| let me know you're out there

I use your breaks, as mine was indefinate, untill i sign up for classes [03 Jan 2005|11:48pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Over Christmas break, I...

kissed someone
had sex

got drunk
played in the snow
cried
Saw an old friend

took a bubble bath
went to the movie theatre
skiied
saw a relative I dislike
got new shoes
gained weight
didn't shower for more than 2 consecutive days
fell in love
missed an ex

went caroling
didn't get dressed at all one day
went out of state
discovered a new band/artist
didn't do homework
read at least one entire book

went to church
did something I regret
snuck out of the house



i can't really sneak out as I'm completely allowed to come and go as I please.
i'm tired
but not asleep
something i do often but do not comprehend.

i blame sense and sensibility for my speach/typing patterns


thank you to all who seemed out of my life but are coming back in.
specifically johnnie, alan, and soon ryan.

>insert "wandering" from "a mighty wind"

2 of y'all| let me know you're out there

my brain wont turn off, but it'll hibernate and the memory card might be full [03 Jan 2005|02:05am]
Went and saw Kinsey today with Andrew Martin
Wasn't as much of a mindfuck as I thought it could be. Well, i can't seem to remember the rest of my day, so maybe it is.
wahtever.

it actually made me questiona few things about myself, ie how i compartmentalize and concentrate on my task and not on how it affects the people around me.
and there's this great quote after watching all about sex, sex, sex (lots of penis in this movie. I giggled a LOT) it goes "love is immeasurable" in regards to why there's no room for it in science.
or something like that.
and i like that.
that saved the movie.

then andrew and I cleared out my room at birch crescent, went to city cafe and came home. He's a friggen AWESOME kid. love how he's like "yeah, that's not for me" and can talk about it, and lets me have my view.
andrew martin isperfect.
anyway.

flip flop.


this morning i was doing laundries and watching a life less ordinary (which makes me realize all the great movie soundtracks seem to go to trippy and/or shitty movies) and mom came in and hopped into bed with me and we chatted and she watched with me etc.
it was warm and nice and i really really liked it

then I kept doing laundry and chilled and...huh. stuff.
OH!
Jeff was a darling and came and got my bed out of birch crescent for me.
well, he was an asshole while doing it :P but it was nice of him to just get up and help me.
hopefully he'll see me tomorrow with our friend Jack.

Then! Andrea came over and we had christmas for us and watched (and dissected) harry potter 3
i love andrea. she grounds me. she's good people.
and we squeal like schoolgirls still. yay.

that brings me to andrew, which i can skip, and now i'm off to bed.
yay for living.

Monday - bank and auntie(?) and yaya coffee? Tuesday 10am - work Wednesday - lunch with johnnie? Thursday - Grandfather Friday - Neverland with drea
let me know you're out there

ha ha jeff!! :-Þ [02 Jan 2005|04:19pm]
CLICK IT AND DEAL BIYOTCH!!



http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/feb2000/950497707.Zo.r.html










the best part is that absolutely NO one else will get this
let me know you're out there

oops [02 Jan 2005|03:57pm]
[ mood | devious ]

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Start Smoking.

Get your resolution here





"Hey Mister"
by Custom

Hey Mister I really like your daughter,
I'd like to eat her like ice cream
maybe dip her in chocolate

Hey Mister on your way to work
in your Volvo, suit, and tie
We'll, be crawling in your bed soon
messing around, maybe getting high

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good one of that i'm sure

Hey Mister I really like your daughter.
When I'm horny like thirsty
She's a bottle of water.

Hey Mister how'd it get so bad
You raised her so well
and now she's calling me dad
in the back seat naked of a new Volkswagen
the perfect little gift for high school graduation.

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good one of that i'm sure

Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
ha hahaha ha ha haha

I eat all the food in your fridge
Call my friends around the world
Rack up your long distance too
Breakstands neutral drops
Wreck all your cars
Drink all the booze in your cheezy ass wet bar
Order stuff on your credit cards
Leave boogers in the skippy jar
Smoke your cigars
Answer the phone tell your boss you moved to mars
When you call in late from work tell your wife
You're at the titty bars

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good one of that i'm sure

I can't lie I have to tell the truth
Man to man mister it's all a total spoof
Your daughter's a freak
Your daughter's a pro
When i'm done with her
She'll do one of your bros

I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter

Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana naaaaaaaa!



Edit:

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Make the FBIs most wanted list.

Get your resolution here




that would be Female Body Inspector.
HACHA!
2 of y'all| let me know you're out there

after this i'm watching harry potter 3 ohmyGOSH you wish you were the alex [01 Jan 2005|08:31pm]
[ mood | calm ]




"We have really great sex" she said, matter of factly, tapping out her cigarette. After inhaling a second, with a pensive look on her face she broke into a smile. "No, REALLY great sex." Shifting her weight and turning her body to face me, she continued(waving her salem all the while), "But it doesn't matter. It's SUCH a perk, but it doesn't matter. What matters is how we can excitedly exchange ideas or just sit in silence," she took a drag, "And we eat together. That's all you really need. Sex? Sex is phenominal, but sex can be replaced with a machine. At the end of the day, at the end of your life, you need to be able to eat with someone who you dont mind looking at and doesn't quite mind looking at and talking with you."



3 of y'all| let me know you're out there

yay for lyrics posts :\ [01 Jan 2005|12:30pm]
Can somebody explain to me
Why everybody is trying to be
Living like a celebrity
Doing what they see on MTV.
Ice is cool but I am looking for more, simple things is what my heart beats for.

Cause its me
I don't ask for much
Baby
Having you is enough

You ain't got to buy nothing
It's not what I want
Baby it's You
We don't have to go nowhere
Its not what I want
Baby it's you
It's not for what you got
Cause I know you got alot
No matter what you do
You always gettin Hot
It's You,
It's You
Baby all I want is You Yeah



so i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and i'll just fall
i'll let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as stall
and wonder when i fall

i kiss your neck
i feel you breathing on my shoulder
still i'm perfect
it must be you cause now it's over
i was so close
that was the most that i have ever been through
now old cassettes and cigarettes
will be the ones to save you
how can you ask for me to stay
when all you ever do is go?
just go

and so i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and so i fall
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i..

go on
you can't be waiting
go on
and watch me as i fall

i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and so i'll fall
i'll let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as stall
and wonder when i..
let me know you're out there

april 8 [01 Jan 2005|12:11pm]
hey, alex, dont forget you're going to go see chigago with marth on april 8th ok?
well, if you get the check to her mom.

hey, right, thanks al.
no big.











i work today.
then movie with andrew martin
because he is my movie lover
let me know you're out there

yes, i'm skinnier. give it up. [01 Jan 2005|11:32am]
its the new year and the only thing i can think about is:

do I buy new vans or should i get nikes or nike like sport shoes?









canada, tibet, prudence, winky, nunzio, tulio, bink, floro (huh, they both just rely on their last names....not ironic, but noteworthy)

i can't remember all the nicknames
sigh
2 of y'all| let me know you're out there

riiiiiooooiight..... [30 Dec 2004|10:39am]
so where does bink live, anyway?
12 of y'all| let me know you're out there

:-D [29 Dec 2004|10:06pm]
life is better because i know you think i'm amazing


I work and it doesnt totally suck

i've been sleeping sporadically, but better.





there is a suicidal snowman in my car
to see it, call my phone and make plans with me
it's hysterical

ally, i have your present.

beckie, i'm shopping for yours tomorrow
:)

CRAZY DAYS!
1 of y'all| let me know you're out there

hiiiii [28 Dec 2004|07:31pm]
[ mood | HYPER ]

i'm waiting for andrew martin to get here becuase he's picking me up and WE'RE GOING ON A DATE!
(i'm so popular)
no but really
he got free tickets to lemony snickett taht we're cashing in and he asked me if i wanted food, free food and i was like "Whoa, you mean to tell me that we're going to eat adn I'm not going to pay and we're going to see amovie and I'm not going to pay? Andrew MARTIN! WE'RE GOING ON A DATE!" and he was like "nuh uh" and i was all "OHMIGOSH I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH ANDREW MARTIN"

tee hee

and what's today?
TODAY IS THE DAY GARDENSTATE IS AVAILBLE FOR SALE!!!!!

do i have my copy?
NO!

because i didnt remember until i was in my driveway.
i think i hear andrew, peace.


ps, ryan - that thing i told you about in the parking lot? yeah i think that might happen again tonight
i miss you and i FUCKING LOVE YOU

let me know you're out there

today (becuase i'm goingto bed before midnight for once) [26 Dec 2004|11:46pm]
[ mood | kinda tired ]

i got up, drove to scottsville, had mom's side christmas.
Everything was nice, I got food, etc
Got good presents, laughing, wasn't ashamed of myself at all, etc. (apparently i experienced the creativity a lot)
Mark gave me $40.
that's a measurement of weed.
when i hugged him,he told me to spend it on drugs.
i think i will
thanks cuz, you bastard stepchild of new york city.

There was ganoshe(sp) cake and shrimp and crappy music and honesty.
and gramma remembered me
and i remembered Kate
and i cried.

then i went to see tim.
well, we went to after the sunset, but i went to see/smell tim.
yeah, on my way thre I slid out on the curve on 390.
i regained. s'all good.
then my brakes worked, but my tires didnt and i hit the car infront of me.
yeah, that's awesome.

no damage i dont think, but i screamed a lot
and was wicked shaken up.

then i saw after the sunset with timmers and meta/tibet and some chick that never talked to me the whole time.
manners are a lost art.
or have gone south for the winter, becuase everyone is So nice down there!

then i came home
watched tv, ate, arranged a date.
yup
i'm going on a date.
its so cute and exciting.
I wont be seeing him for a year so we decided to have a good time.
tee hee.

I work at 10 tomorrow.
i feel all lotioned and shaved and girly.
but i need tweezers, because while i love salma hyacks rack, and would love to have it, i can do with out her unibrow.(she was in after the sunset)

i'm tired.
yes!

gnight


ps, anyone know anything about attaching a dvdplayer or getting the software so I can watch dvds on my laptop?
nternal/external, long as it works.
thanks

3 of y'all| let me know you're out there

because i'm too good to check till late [26 Dec 2004|01:22am]
wow.
im a flaming dumbass.

but at least i feel better

breathes


yay for patience, etc


yay for never fucking making sense



off. why is it the same as end?

muthaafucckkkkkaaaa


what's everone wearing to beckie's wedding?
i just dunno how to dress for a morning wedding.
course, we'll just be happy if I show up with two shoes that match and a bra, eh?


'yay' for mornings
but a realy heartfelt yay for beckie who i love and can't wait to see looking resplendent!
5 of y'all| let me know you're out there

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