fuckin blast from the past, eh?

hey kids.
just keeping this account active because of my packrat tendencies.

also becuase someone tried to get my pass word, so I'm just posting for who(m)ever did that to fuck off.



awesome
love YOU guys
but not fuckwits.
xxxxxxx

final entry

She kisses everyone goodbye
And waves her middle finger high
They're never gonna mess with her again
The drama queen is seventeen
And sleeping with boys who dream
She's got a reputation of being easy

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She thinks about herself and cares about nobody else
because the only friends she has all put her down
They hate her when she's beautiful and even more when she's a fool
They talk behind her back when it's her birthday

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She's saying goodbye, she's wasted all her loney tear drops
Saying goodbye, she's used up all her lonely tear drops now

Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away from here
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back

She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now

She's wasted all her lonely tear drops now
  • Current Music
    sugarcult

because it has to be said

I'd rather been seen as a slut than have a long term relationship with someone who hurts me




work was bearable due to johnnie being cool and not sucking like a cheetah with reverse diarhea.
*props to johnnie*



and i got more psychotic snowmen
purple fairy

i am tired (i know)

e.e.cummings



You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.


Come with me, then,
And we'll leave it far and far away--
(Only you and I, understand!)


You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and--
Just tired.
So am I.


But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And I knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart--
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.


Ah, come with me!
I'llblow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I'll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probably stars;
I will attempt the unstartles steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

*seething*

That's right betrayed


and I dont appear to be getting over it anytime soon





adamacoustic
You're "You Know How I Do", you're always
tired, upset or lying and you won't take
anyone's crap.


Which taking back sunday song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnifacent liars.
So crush me baby, I'm all ears.
So obviously desperate, so desperatly obvious.
I'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about "cleaning up my act..."

We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
Willing and ready to prove the worst of everything you said about.
So obviously desperate, so desperatly obvious.
So good at setting bad examples.
Listen, chic, I've had all I can handle.

We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

Think of all the fun you had.
The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time.
Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and......"I can barely smile"

Think of all the fun you had.
The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time.
Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and......"I can barely smile"

Let's go...
He's smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on and on and on.
He's smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on and on and on.
  • Current Mood
    betrayed and pissed
purple fairy

you bastard

I hate this
i let you in, accidentally.
and now I have to deal.
and you hold the cards now and i'm just waiting.
I respected you and thought you fantastic and we have discussions and discourse and it was phenominal.
and you gave me respect and I think understood a part of me that I dont
or you just let me go and appriciated me because of/inspite of it.

and i miss that
and you.


write to me.
oh for peace ofmind write to me



i want to have people to talk wth aboutme.
people who understand and care
and i dont have that.


i wish i'd hugged kate more

i wish i hadn't thought i'd have her till i was married.
and i did.
i thought she'd be at my wedding in her blue dress and peach lipstick.
and i long for someone to be my new source of unconditional love
and i try to bbe who and what I am, and I know i'm intense, but you have to lov eme either inspite or beacuse of.
I need to throw up


i feel like there's so much more to feel and I'm not allowing myself, or something isn't allowing me.
i'm not at flow.
i dont understand
i just dont fucking understand.
or i dont carE?

fuck it, i'm not going to mcc tomorrw i'm going thursday

and it's crap i keep blowing off kara and i hope she bitchslaps me for it.


i need something lifechanging and wholy effective to happen to me
something i hate
but isn't permanent.


i hate liars.
and i'm pretty sure everyone who reads this has lied to me at least once

i hate my standards.
i ...want to go to bed and die.
  • Current Mood
    oh pick a fucking emotion

PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION

I'm organizing something and you want to come
YES YOU DO


this is your notice for the


"Why The Fuck Haven't You Seen The Incredibles Yet?"
Party/Outing.

Friday.
time to be determined (matinee, because paying $8 for a movie is OUTRAGEOUS!)


If you have already seen this movie, you are still welcome to revel in the greatness that IS The Incredibles


it's a joint for us all.
and i think there's a meet up at jays afterward.
wahtev.

more details to follow.
rock.
etc.

bring whoever you'd like.



...and suddenly i remember i already have plans.
fuck.

IT WILL WORK OUT!!
  • Current Mood
    fuckin tired

I use your breaks, as mine was indefinate, untill i sign up for classes

Over Christmas break, I...

kissed someone
had sex

got drunk
played in the snow
cried
Saw an old friend

took a bubble bath
went to the movie theatre
skiied
saw a relative I dislike
got new shoes
gained weight
didn't shower for more than 2 consecutive days
fell in love
missed an ex

went caroling
didn't get dressed at all one day
went out of state
discovered a new band/artist
didn't do homework
read at least one entire book

went to church
did something I regret
snuck out of the house



i can't really sneak out as I'm completely allowed to come and go as I please.
i'm tired
but not asleep
something i do often but do not comprehend.

i blame sense and sensibility for my speach/typing patterns


thank you to all who seemed out of my life but are coming back in.
specifically johnnie, alan, and soon ryan.

>insert "wandering" from "a mighty wind"
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

my brain wont turn off, but it'll hibernate and the memory card might be full

Went and saw Kinsey today with Andrew Martin
Wasn't as much of a mindfuck as I thought it could be. Well, i can't seem to remember the rest of my day, so maybe it is.
wahtever.

it actually made me questiona few things about myself, ie how i compartmentalize and concentrate on my task and not on how it affects the people around me.
and there's this great quote after watching all about sex, sex, sex (lots of penis in this movie. I giggled a LOT) it goes "love is immeasurable" in regards to why there's no room for it in science.
or something like that.
and i like that.
that saved the movie.

then andrew and I cleared out my room at birch crescent, went to city cafe and came home. He's a friggen AWESOME kid. love how he's like "yeah, that's not for me" and can talk about it, and lets me have my view.
andrew martin isperfect.
anyway.

flip flop.


this morning i was doing laundries and watching a life less ordinary (which makes me realize all the great movie soundtracks seem to go to trippy and/or shitty movies) and mom came in and hopped into bed with me and we chatted and she watched with me etc.
it was warm and nice and i really really liked it

then I kept doing laundry and chilled and...huh. stuff.
OH!
Jeff was a darling and came and got my bed out of birch crescent for me.
well, he was an asshole while doing it :P but it was nice of him to just get up and help me.
hopefully he'll see me tomorrow with our friend Jack.

Then! Andrea came over and we had christmas for us and watched (and dissected) harry potter 3
i love andrea. she grounds me. she's good people.
and we squeal like schoolgirls still. yay.

that brings me to andrew, which i can skip, and now i'm off to bed.
yay for living.

Monday - bank and auntie(?) and yaya coffee? Tuesday 10am - work Wednesday - lunch with johnnie? Thursday - Grandfather Friday - Neverland with drea
  • Current Music
    Rebels - FM